I am one of the mainstream. I am one of the millions who got their heart broken and became so bitter that they never loved again.
Except for the fact that I got so broken, I started to break hearts (unintentionally), too…
It was this experience I had with my ex-boyfriend (no names shall be mentioned). This boy that I loved so much, this boy whom I gave all my attention to and this boy that made me not care about destroying my reputation or losing my dignity. This boy, in which after almost two years, left me anyway.
That was the time when I realized “forever” was and will never be real. I really had my hopes high back then. Seeing them fall and hit the ground with a crash landing had never crossed my mind. And as it did, he stood there and watched.
This changed me, a lot. I know I say a lot of things like the change that happened made me stronger, but no. It actually didn’t. It made me more scared. It made me lose hope. It made me fragile. Also, I never thought that this would also change me into someone that breaks hearts as well.
I don’t do the heart-breaking on purpose, honestly. It always starts out like this: I encourage myself to forget everything in the past and try to love again. Then a guy comes along, tells me he can do all those things for me and then I try to believe. But, something always gets in the way. My stupid idiotic mind won’t settle. It keeps telling me that this will end up with someone having his/her heart broken again. So, I always end up saying goodbye to the guy and breaking his heart. I’m evil, I know.
I can’t help it. I can’t stop it. It’s in me. The thought of losing everything inhabited my mind and soul already.
Oh, someone help me…
“So this guy”, I said, standing in the doorway of the living room. “Francois Rabelais. He was this poet. And his last words were ‘I go to seek a Great Perhaps. That’s why I’m going. So I don’t have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.” - Miles Halter; Looking For Alaska
Blue nails #kubskoutz
LOL but here’s the thing, thank you for everything, mom. Thank you for all your sacrifices, for being always patient, for always being there for us, for teaching us what’s right from wrong, for not only being our mom but also our dad and especially for helping me keep my feet on the ground despite everything that I am going through. What’s keeping me strong right now is your fragile heart. And I swear to take care of you like you took care of me. Thank you for being the best person I know. I love you so much, mom! Happy mothers’ day!!
P.S. Hold on tight, I still have a lot of things to do to make you proud.
we all know one
I’m one of them
you know it
Movie marathon for tonight :-))
Who needs to go to the salon and spend thousands for hair beautification? Surely, not me. I’ve been experimenting with my hair a lot lately. These are photos of when I made my hair curly without going to the salon, even without the use of a curling iron. Just some hand magic and the good old best friend of everyone’s hair, the ‘hair spray’.
This curl is what I got after braiding my hair to/from the scalp.
This one is the kind of curls I got when I tied my hair into a tight bun for hours.
For this curl, I also tied my hair into a tight bun but it wasn’t at the center of my head. I tied it to the right side of my head and it resulted to this.
Other girls should really try this. It keeps your hair natural, it saves you the time and the money and it’s really creative and really cute!!